Many of the people I see in therapy are experiencing depression and/or anxiety. They feel down, unmotivated and apathetic about life. They may be experiencing a lot of worry and feeling very negatively. People regularly express a sense of shame that they aren’t more grateful, acknowledging that others have it worse. They ask themselves how they can feel so badly all the time when they have a nice home, a loving family, a good job, and good health. People out in the world are starving and the news gets sadder every day. They wonder why they can’t just be happy with what they have.

I am often in the position of reassuring my clients that their feelings are valid. Yes, others may be experiencing life circumstances that would traditionally be considered “worse”, but anxiety and depression are real, and they don’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter how good your life may be on paper. If depression has seeped through the cracks, it can take over.

In her book Rising Strong, Dr. Brene Brown references this common feeling. She calls it comparative suffering. She notes that the refugee in Syria does not benefit if you conserve your compassion by withholding it from your neighbor who is going through a divorce, or from yourself. There is enough compassion and empathy to go around, and all are deserving. Brown notes “Yes, perspective is critical. But I’m a firm believer that complaining is okay as long as we piss and moan with a little perspective. Hurt is hurt, and everytime we honor our own struggle and the struggles of others by responding with empathy and compassion, the healing that results affects all of us.”

I couldn’t agree more. All pain is valid and worthy of acknowledgement. Perspective is necessary in all situations. So drop your shame and guilt about not feeling happy and seek some support in your process of reclaiming your life.

For assistance in managing anxiety or depression, make an appointment with me today.