According to John Gottman, a renowned researcher and couples therapist, couples endure an average of 6 years of relationship strain before seeking couples therapy. Six years!! Many people are under the impression that couples therapy is a last ditch effort to save their relationships. I often see couples who are seeking treatment once their relationship is in crisis. As a couples therapist, I have learned that it’s so much more difficult to heal a partnership after years of resentment and anger have built up. When couples come for a tune-up following some minor issues, the chances for a positive outcome are so much higher.

Here are 4 ways that seeking couples counseling before things get bad can benefit your relationship:

Make adjustments to communication patterns. All couples have communication patterns. I react this way, you respond like this, and so on. A skilled therapist can help to recognize patterns in how you and your partner interact with one another and offer feedback on alternative strategies when necessary.
Help to understand emotional triggers that influence how you react to one another. We all have emotional triggers. They are mostly caused by experiences within our family of origin or past relationships. Although we may be aware of some, it’s not uncommon to feel particularly reactive to certain words, behaviors, etc. and to feel confused about why we had such a strong response. Therapy can help to understand the reactions and feelings that come up at various times and learn how to tune in to what we’re really feeling.
Talk through issues with the help of a third party. Sometimes it helps to have a referee. Talking through difficult issues with a therapist present can help to ensure that everyone is accountable for their words and that you each get a chance to say your piece. A therapist can offer unbiased feedback and perspective that may help see things more clearly.
Get extra support as a couple. Couples go through very difficult times together, such as loss of a family member, financial stress, infertility and much more. Even if you and your partner are getting along just fine, going through a tough time can put extra strain on a relationship. It can be helpful to seek support together from someone who can help to manage some of the emotional burden.

Could your relationship benefit from a little extra TLC? Click here to make an appointment.